I roll into bed late. It’s been a sixty plus hour week, I’ve hardly seen my kids awake, the time I’ve spent with the mrs has been minimal and that time has been (I imagine) like catching up with a personal assistant, a list of what’s happened, happening and imminent. The stench of kitchen permeates my skin, it’s a mix of garlic, onion,meat, grease, dirt and chemicals. No matter how much I scrub I still get the odd waft. My feet are throbbing, my back aches and my mind is racing thinking about whether I’ve remembered to order everything for tomorrow.
As the mrs sleeps next to me, I try to switch off by reading but in reality the words aren’t going in. It’s far too busy thinking about having to get up for the breakfast shift and sneak out before anyone is awake. You see the reality is in this game,dependent on shifts, days can slip by without seeing loved ones. That fucking sucks.
It’s summer so the kitchen is hot. And when I say hot think Kuwait in a heatwave hot. The record behind the pass is 43c!! That is not a pleasant environment. This makes the managers nervous that the new young waiting staff will drop dead. So pint after pint of iced water is shipped into the kitchen. As much as it cools the body it does nothing for my back, sack and crack. At this point it’s about as effective as hair gel to Patrick Stewart.
The summer is relentless, and busy. The hospitality industry is crazy in the summer. Everywhere gets busy, weekends are packed as everyone makes the most of the sunshine.
Someone has to work, to cook and serve, so between April and September every weekend is work, when it’s sunny it’s work, when it’s summer holidays it’s work and when friends are out enjoying and we turn down another invite, it’s work.
So why do we do it? Why be part of this often sadistic world?
It’s who we are!
Allow me to elaborate, Now let me make this very clear. I am talking for the lifers, the people who do this day in day out. This is not speaking for the 16 year olds who do two shifts a week during the summer holidays.
A true representative of the hospitality industry has a different mind. We are the misfits, freaks and the runts. And there is great beauty in that. The idea of sitting in an office with a headset on 9-5 scares the bejesus out of us. Being part of a world where you can’t call your fellow employees a bunch of cunts (even in an affectionate way) without being given a disciplinary is alien to us. Being part of a world where dry humping fellow workers is considered sexual harassment. A world where you do the same thing everyday till you have two days off to see friends, family, get chores done then try to cram in some life before you do exactly the same the next week. This seems like a monotonous hell. It’s all a bit vanilla.
As the misfits, freaks and runts we aren’t suited to the monotony of many businesses. The dark sense of humour that’s in most of us wouldn’t bode well in social situations. I can’t see a Hitler reference going down well in customer service for instance. It’s a sick sense of humour that bonds us and has evolved through long busy shifts together.
We know we work harder than other people, we like this fact. It’s an industry where the lazy can’t hide, and due to non existent hr departments, if your lazy someone will call you a “lazy cunt”till you work hard. You have to work hard, and seeing someone busting their balls, for you, will bond you. This is why the misfits love it as we get the connection with like minded people. People that “get” us when most people never have.
The beauty of hospitality is it exudes life and emotions. Because you work a rota you normally plan days off with more verve, the want to embrace opportunities as not to miss out can see you living life in to the early hours in questionable states. As a family man I have a massive amount more gratitude for the time I have with my boys and mrs. It makes me stop and think how lucky I am to have whatever time before my next stint.
To anyone who reads this who is in management this is my plea, it’s time for a new balance in this sadistic world. Give the guys who work their bollocks and flaps off the occasional weekend off. Let them see their families and friends. People who can live life will stick with you a lot longer than those you push until they snap. Maybe we are a band of degenerates but we are a breed who are fiercely loyal, make you look good and a bunch of hard working sons of bitches. Or if not you could always hire lots of those Generation Y guys! Your call
FOOD ANARCHY 