Strap in dear reader because this one may turn into a rant. I will start out by saying “don’t worry, I am a still a positive upbeat bald arsehole but today is going to be about getting a few things of my chest.
Today has been a great day though, delivery Sunday dinners went out on time and the feedback has been nothing but positive, I am so grateful people message to say how much they have enjoyed. It puts my mind at ease and makes me realise that giving feedback on a delivery site is so helpful that maybe I should stop being a lazy prick when I swipe “archive” when the email comes through. So to all who have contacted me, I appreciate you.
As I sip on a cheeky vodka and coke whilst typing away I can not have anything but love about today. Today has been a wonderous day where after the orders were done and dusted I have played with my lads, eaten as a family, checked in with some friends via text and received love throughout. The only sourness is the impending thoughts of work tomorrow. Back to the supermarket, back to my temporary job, back to a reminder of how fucked the hospitality business is, that this has been a job that is something to be grateful for.
When tomorrow comes and I put on the “respect my authority” high vis jacket, grab the walkie talkie of power and try to make the best of it, meeting people, lovely people who want to get through this by being helpful, whilst being in the sunshine for most of the day. BUT there is the side of it to just laugh at, the obsurdity of people, customers, managers and the systems in place. Let me be very clear about this point, I have to laugh it off because if not I will probably lose this job! . The urge to call someone a stupid cunt is brewing, or pointing out someone is down right fucking retarded. But I am get ahead of myself, this is where the rant begins. (I will try to keep it brief, the world doesn’t need anymore negativity).
THE JOB, the job in essence is great, walk around, chat with customers about what to do, how to behave in store. At all times try to keep customers and staff safe by maintaining distance and numbers in store. SIMPLES. Well this becomes a bit harder once management get involved. Everyday a different manager gives us different rules to follow, different guidelines as they are scared of offending a customer. I say if the customer is a selfish cunt don’t worry. If the customer cant see the bigger picture in all of this fuck them, keep them out of the store and keep people safe. The management are in a difficult position though and to a point I can see why they end up making stupid decisions. As I was told the guidelines to not split couples or families up due to it causes complaints, I could feel myself wanting to argue but knowing it was futile kept quiet. As the manager who I had never met in two weeks told me her job title straight away (like I give a fuck) and we were going for a “pink and fluffy approach” I just looked at her with a look of contempt whilst thinking “you will endanger people you stupid cunt!”. So with no management back up to enforce anything, people can essentially do as they please.
CUSTOMERS, 98% of the customers are lovely, that needs to be said. THE 2% THOUGH, WOW!!!. Those two percent will cause people to be ill or even kill someone. Of course they wont do it intentionally, I don’t believe its malicious intent but fuck me the selfish attitude of some people is unbelievable. These dangerous pricks are
- people who refuse to follow a one way system and end up RUBBING past people in order to save 10 seconds in an aisle,
- The people who don’t know what “essential shopping is”, for fuck sake just buy some bread and milk with your hot tub.
- Spineless men who cant shop without there wife as they are terrified of getting something wrong. Stay in the car and let the woman who obviously has to look after your useless ass take care of business. So they like to act the big bollocks in a queue to compensate for being a weak human
- People who think shopping is a social occasion to meet up with their friends and go down the aisles all next to each other whilst having a chat.
- The pandemic is so dangerous for vulnerable people why the fuck would you take a new born baby to a store?! answers on a postcard.
- Families with kids, to be specific two parents and loads of kids. One of you stay in the car with the kids! its simple. Just because your an inadequate parent, due to whatever parental failure you have, your putting YOUR KIDS and other people at risk. (there are single parents out there who HAVE to take their kids shopping, of course, but they HAVE to and I respect them for that, but when there are two parents and an option for only one questions need to be asked.)
- THE PEOPLE WHO THINK STAFF ARE BELOW THEM, for some reason some people are so stupid they think reaching over a member of staff is acceptable. They must think staff have some immunity to Covid 19, or they just don’t respect the staff who are stocking the shelves so you can have food.
What I have noticed is the Welsh love a drink, look at 9 out of 10 trollies and it contains bottles of wine, crates of beer or bottles of spirits. To be honest with you I think its shows a positive outlook. People are treating themselves and taking the time to relax and recover from day to day life. It could be a way of hiding from the truth but I prefer to look at the positives.
If there is a reduced section, people will risk their health for a good deal. This includes being shoulder to shoulder with people, all picking up the same packets and putting them down again and reaching over people to see the deal before they do. If you want to risk your health to save £2, then you need to get some self confidence.
For the 7 people who read this blog, I would like to explain something that selfish people seem oblivious to. If you can shop as an individual do it, just think of the maths for a moment. If the store is allowed 100 people, that’s 100 households. If 50 couples are in, that’s 100 people, 50 households and 50 waiting outside. Those outside will include vulnerable people and old people. People get frustrated at waiting and the whole shopping experience for people takes longer. So if you can stay at home or in the car please do.
What is great to see if lots of people have done this, as they follow the arrows so many people are on the phone from start to finish in order to make sure they are buying the right thing. I have seen people facetime the whole shop so the person at home is virtually shopping alongside the shopper. Watching panicked men try to choose which of the two products they hold in their hands is brilliant. In my hand I get to hold a lollypop sign saying please keep two metres. Welcome to “nodignityville”, fucking embarrassing.
Lastly and this one fucks me off royally is letting smackheads jump the queue so they don’t make a scene as they are more tempremental. WELL FUCK CRACKY AND SMACKY, why should they go in infront of the pensioner who has waited patiently for 35 minutes?. Why do we reward their life choices? how about stay in the queue and think about you life choices?. Essentially its medication, and you cant deny medication but when they come out laughing with bags of shopping they are cunts. Go in, get your prescription, fuck off home.
One of these smackheads spat on a security guard the other day because they asked them to keep two metres (the law), that security guard now has to spend two weeks in isolation and so does her family as ordered by the bosses. But hey go on in, no queue.
So what have I learnt?, well to practise patience. Deal with scared and frustrated customers and that this is what a “job” is, no passion, no desire just counting down the clock and thinking of pay. I am very grateful to have the job, life would be worse without it and the supermarkets have been amazing at giving hospitality a crutch when it desperately needs it. I have learnt that the massive majority of people are beautiful caring human beings, and I have learnt I could quite happily lose 2% of the population. It sounds harsh but you really wouldn’t miss them ………. their cunts.
happy eating, stay safe.
FOOD ANARCHY 