So as the grains of sand fall through the life glass, another week has past in the blink of an eye. As we now approach December, life will become warp speed and a bit of a blur.
As the frost covers the cars, the grass crunches under foot and the morning air is crisp it’s yet another school run with the boys and a chance to have a couple of minutes conversation with the parents, as we wait for the school gate to open. Inevitably through politeness people take an interest in the business, and are always very complimentary about how we are progressing and how hard we are working. It’s so beautiful people seem to care and it’s always appreciated. Later in the day I meet a dear friend for coffee and a catch up, he is at a point of possibly mixing up his career. A hard worker who has always taken on any challenge in the company he has been a loyal solider for. As we are talking about this open world of exciting options (never to old to put on some tights and live the dream as a pro wrestler), he mentions my work ethic and how hard I work. At that moment as I’m partly confused and wondering what a fucking cruffin is (croissant and muffin), and it dawns on me “I don’t know what work is anymore”
This isn’t a revelation of a bee realising it’s a sloth it’s more of a parameter confusion. The streams have crossed and those lines are blurring. Is this dangerous? Is this normal? Am I a super businessman? (Probably not, I cut my head open on my boot lock last week and make knob jokes as a marketing strategy). As I entered the gym later in the day, the lovely trainer lady said in a no nonsense Lithuanian accent “it must be nice to just decide to take a day off!”.
Since I was 13 years old, I have worked. On my 13th birthday my dad woke me up to tell me he had got me a job as a paperboy (I imagine it’s a non gender paper delivery person these days) well Happy fucking birthday! . At the time I recall being excited, my brother had a round and always had a bit of cash (£10 a week minus deductions… bargain) so as little brothers do, I started to emulate. At the age of 16, on Saturdays and school holidays I worked for agencies, again following in the big lads footprints. That was mind numbing work from a dodgy fuck called Ray. From 12 hours cutting tops off onions and packing veg to litter picking on a rubbish dump, we did it all. End of the week, go to a pub the wrong side of town, Ray would buy me 2 pints and pay cash. That paid nicely for a mad one Saturday night after a quick shower, splash of Hugo boss and change into whatever awful fashion was the trend at the time it was into town and pure freedom. Then I worked for someone else in some shape or form for the next 19 years.
So why am I telling you this?, to point out how we are all conditioned, and when you have done something for so long habits are ingrained. It becomes a simple formula, get put on the rota, work said shifts, bust your balls when you are there, outwork every mother fucker, go home, plan time off and then next shift repeat. It’s was all very black and white, cut and shut. But since being self employed, small business owner, director, whatever the fuck I am, it becomes harder to quantify what work is. Simply saying anything that involves the business is too vague a statement. Don’t misunderstand, I really like my life and don’t want to go back to working for other people. If you do and it’s what works for you that’s great and nothing I have an opinion on. YOU DO YOU and be happy, it’s just not my bag. Your life, your rules. This is just my brain, working out a question.
This inability to quantify doesn’t cause me any emotional pain or discomfort it just confuses me. I have no idea how much I work. Is thinking about the business work? Now how about if I’m in the Bath at the time? Am I technically working if I’m messaging contacts and suppliers while on the toilet?
For someone who was conditioned to go into an environment and bust my balls, not stop until my body aches and I’ve produced a sweat, to walking around a supermarket buying ingredients, this doesn’t seem to qualify as “work”. I can’t imagine going up to chefs I’ve worked with or potwashers and saying “I’m knackered today, I’ve been shopping and delivered two cakes!”. I’d probably get a pan chucked at me. It’s a weird paradox that the best work anyone can do is think, think of ideas, concepts and innovation, yet the best time for that is when you are relaxed, not doing much physically and seeking to quiet your mind. The brain is in its most creative stage at the theta brain wave, meditation encourages this brain wave as does showers. That’s why great ideas and clarity alway come to you in the shower. So maybe next time I need a marketing concept I’ll just pop in the shower ….. how is that work?
That’s just the work concept, what about a more esoteric ideal. I am my business, my business is me. There is no staff workforce, it’s my energy, my ideas, my concepts. With that in mind I’m drawn to the great quote regarding how to be successful.
The secret to success , learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job you’ll make a living, but work hard on yourself and you can make a fortune.!
Jim Rohn
And that mantra is on my mind constantly. Well once I get past my adolescent mind laughing at the word “hardon” , I don’t think mine would be making a fortune. Not sure it would make enough for a bag of chips.
As I mentioned the brain can produce different brain waves dependent on state. So when you sleep it’s in a delta wave, when you are wide awake it’s a beta wave. In between are two more states, two states that if used effectively can help your brain develop but if used negatively can cause destructive habits. So theta is one of creativity, it is when your sub conscious mind is more conscious. For instance the state you feel when you haven’t quite woken up and the brain seems more abstract. Einstein was wonderfully creative because he would purposely put himself in this state, (whilst holding a rock, as to not fall asleep). From this he would visualise himself on a beam of light and would go on to create the theory of relativity. When we put ourselves in this state we make more connections in the neurones of our brain. Interestingly Einstein had a slightly smaller brain than most but had a higher percentage of connections than most. Meditation can also induce the theta brainwave. But what is apparent is every little action can affect every forward motion.
So with that in mind, I look to have no ZERO days. No days of not learning and development. So I’m up early, walking, planning the day, meditation, reading, hit the gym later, study concepts I feel weak in, pushing myself to grow and learn. Is that work? When I’m listening to online lectures, studying financial news, is that work? Two years ago I’d be watching family guy now I’m watching lectures about uranium, cryptocurrency and silver miners as a possible investment. I have evidently changed, my mind has changed but the question remains is this work? I don’t know. As this growth mindset is a constant practise, with the hope that it brings me success in life, isn’t that all part of my new life. A mixture of business and growth. Is that development work? Is this blog work? I throughly enjoy writing the blog but it is for the business, so where does the blog land?.
The alpha brain wave is one of relaxed awareness, it forms habits and directs the subconscious. It helps you zone out and passively take in information. This could be whilst learning something educational or something mindless. Ever watched tv in a daze, then not recall of what the fuck you spent that last two hours watching, or being completely oblivious to somebody taking to you?.
One time I do know I’m not working is when I purposely switch off. This is when my brain feels fatigue and I know it’s time to turn off. So out comes the phone and on goes TikTok for a dopamine hit , at that point I might as well go through a worm hole as time passes by at an alarming rate. Just ten minutes somehow becomes an hour as my dopamine hit tells me just a few more algorithm inspired clips. What is happening is my conscious brain switches off, but I am not sure what it’s teaching my sub conscious about instant gratification and reinforcement? This balance of needing to switch off and relax compared to training my brain for success seems to be very contradictory. As much as the phone can become a crutch and the possibility to become amazingly destructive, it is a brilliant tool. It’s the cornerstone of my connection to customers, taking orders. The AVERAGE person opens Instagram/ Facebook 150 times a day, (if you don’t use it that much someone does it even more).
I use YouTube for guided meditation but that requires me to interact with my phone early in the morning that promotes the sub conscious to react, but undoubtedly i am rewarded with a hit of dopamine. Studies have shown a goldfish has the attention and memory of 9 seconds but humans attention span is now 2 seconds.
As much as TikTok is a switch off exercise it comes with a level of guilt, that somehow the business is not living up to its full potential if I relax. Knowing the link between being relaxed and productivity doesn’t help me feel that somehow there is an imbalance at both exercises. This is just another lesson to learn. Something to be grateful for is the lesson that when I am with the boys and mrs, that I am present and when I work I work. Except the small problem of not knowing how to quantify it. Does working on myself count as WORK.
So even after spilling my mind into this blog I still have no idea how much I work, as a small business owner it seems that the workload is constant, everyday something is done to the progress the business, that I am sure of. How effective is my work time balance ?. I’ll just have to think about that. The question is Will that count as work?
While I figure that out, happy eating
FOOD ANARCHY 